The Redefinition of Herself

We go through many phases of finding ourselves in life. Changes in life often trigger new emotions and new perpectives, leading is to re-evaluate where we are in life and what we want out of it. Thus, some of the things we wanted last year may not be what we want this year.

I found myself in this place recently, at the age of twenty-seven. All my life, I had assumed I was to be a career-woman. Perhaps, this thought process came from my upbringing and the messages I was given as a young woman. Perhaps, this mentality came from the messages from society and from the people I surrounded myself with. Or perhaps this idea came from the desire to achieve and to do big things with my life. Regardless of how or where these notions came from, I was left at a starting point in self-discovery again after I had my first child.

And now, I find myself at the same crossroads I was at ten years ago, when meeting with career counselors in college, trying to figure out what I want to do with my life. Only this time, I am armed with a law degree and two bar exams under my belt.

You see, when a woman has a child, her whole world changes and so does her role in life. Where she was once a careerwoman, a student, a wife or a sister, she has now become first and foremost, a mother. Motherhood is not just a physical responsibility but also, an emotional responsibility. Where she may once have had the unconditional committment to devote to something, her unconditional devotion is now to her child.

For me, it was not the demands of motherhood that ignited my desire to redefine myself. It was the realization that perhaps what I thought I wanted to do was not what I wanted to do at all. It was the realization that I could only leave my daughter behind for a job that was truly worth it. Yet, no job felt worth it and I began questioning whether I really enjoyed the career path I was on.


They say that we re-invent ourselves numerous times in life. This could be a way we deal with the changes in life. Or it could be a way we deal with changes in our philosophy on life. Sometimes, this just means changing the methods we use in what we already do.

Other times, it may just mean changing ideas we held so tightly on to or paths we followed so obediently.