Nanny Rivalry

Interestingly enough, yesterday someone mentioned an emotional struggle her friend had gone through while leaving her daughter with a nanny. She mentioned that her friend, who was a working mother, would feel jealous of the nanny. These feelings of jealousy had to do with her fear that the baby would like the nanny more than the mother.

Once again, prior to having children, a working woman does not contemplate such emotions. But here they are, in full swing.

I can't say that I have ever felt nanny rivalry but I admit that sometimes, I do feel resentment that the babysitter gets to spend the day with my child. It's hard to leave the baby with a caregiver and even the most career-oriented mothers find themselves having a hard time leaving their children at a daycare or with a nanny.

I recently heard a surgeon talk about her disappointment in leaving her six month old son at a professional day care center. She had always hoped that her mother would eventually move to the area and take care of her children while she worked.

Are grandparents the ultimate solution to nanny rivalry? Do we overcome our child-care anxiety by leaving our children with their grandparents?

Growing up, I knew of a woman whose daughter referred to her grandmother as "mama". I find it hard to believe that the mother did not feel some sense of discontent at that, after all, hearing your baby or toddler call out "mama" is one of the most rewarding parts of motherhood.

How do we overcome nanny rivalry? Or do we even need to overcome it? Maybe we just need to accept it as part of the deal of leaving our children behind with a caregiver.